Marriage

Paul took pains to balance the attitude of marriage with the symbolic and spiritual insights of the mystery as a sign of Christ's union with the love of his Body(the Church).  Ephesians 5:21-33.

Many popular customs of the Roman and Germanic tribes are still practiced today, or at least remnants of them; i.e., The father "gives" away the bride because the father had total control over the destiny of his children.  Because he was losing a fertile member of his family he was often compensated with gifts of money or property.  This was eventually replaced with the "precious ring" that was placed on the bride's finger.

Very early in the history of the Church, religious leaders viewed the sexual dimension of marriage as a necessary evil, always tainted with sin.  So marriage was often discouraged and only allowed for the procreation of children.  Thus evolved the priorities of marriage until the Second Vatican Council; i.e., (1) procreation; (2) raising little Catholics in the faith; (3) fidelity to one another.  A strange set of priorities, but think about it.   Women were merely property of the men and they were just to satisfy the "desires of the flesh" and not much more.  If two people fell in love that became an added bonus to marriage. 

In 1215 at the Fourth Lateran Council marriage officially became one of the seven sacraments of the Church.   Marriage became a source of grace and therefore good unto itself.  A big step from the above concept of a "necessary evil".

Today the Church views marriages on par with the call to religious vocations and in itself is a vocation with its own special graces.  Vatican Council II rearranged the priorities of marriages to be: (1) Two people who must love each other totally, in fidelity and in  a covenantal relationship; (2) They may be blessed with children as a result of that love; (3) If they are so blessed are to raise their children in the faith by being the "models" of the Church in love and fidelity to each other.

Because the Church continues to be the "keeper of the books", Catholic weddings cannot take place outside of the Church and they must be planned at least 6months in advance.  Couples must undergo a preparation program of classes in order to have a fully informed conscience about this very important decision they are making in their lives.  It is the Church's attempt to stem the 50% divorce rate even among Catholics today.  In these programs couples are forced to talk about and look at such important issues in relationship such as: (1) how to fight fairly; (2) who controls the money; (3) how to fall in love every day; (4) sex and its importance in married life; (5) what it means to be the model of love for their children in the Catholic Church. 

For an example of a wedding homily see homilies .

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